For more years that I care to remember, my brother and I bought our mum a bottle of Baileys at Christmas.
We bought her other things too, but the Baileys was the consistent present. It was practically a tradition.
One Christmas my brother and I were sat in our mum’s kitchen having a cuppa. We opened one of the kitchen cupboards and behold the cupboard was full of bottles of Baileys.
Full of full bottles of Baileys.
Never been touched bottles of Baileys.
Aghast we said to mum ‘How come you’ve got a whole cupboard of Baileys?’
Somewhat bashfully she said, ‘because you buy me a bottle every year but I’m not really that keen on it.’
‘OMG!’ (or similar – you can improvise here) we exclaimed. ‘Why didn’t you say if you don’t like it?!
Mum said she didn’t want to hurt our feelings and that she hoped it would just stop.
I recalled this story recently when I was delivering some training on giving and receiving feedback.
If mum had fed back that she wasn’t keen on Baileys we would have stopped buying it for her. Instead, every year she gracefully received something she didn’t like, thanked us and hid the new bottle in a cupboard.
There are two learnings in this story.
💡 Feedback is important. Without it we don’t know to do anything different. It’s how we learn and grow. Giving candid and kind feedback can result in better outcomes all round.
💡Check your assumptions – we continued to assume Baileys was the drink of choice. It certainly was not.
(although in an attempt to help empty the cupboard I can reliably tell you that is it nice in coffee as well as over ice)
In a high performing team, feedback is encouraged, and everyone has permission and knows how to give and receive feedback regardless of job title. High performing teams also have ways to acknowledge and sense check assumptions in order to more effectively problem solve.
I work with team leaders to help them develop and embed cultures where learning and development enables innovation and creativity to thrive. Team culture where people feel safe to challenge and feedback in order that together the team can make more impact.
If you’d like some help developing this high performing culture in your team then get in touch at lucy@lucidity.org.uk.